Customs and Traditions
For customs, traditions, etc.
Contents
Marriage and Courtship
Usual: courting —› dating relationship [ —› promise ] —› engagement —› marriage. The phases can be any length of time. There is no ruling or law against same-sex marriages. They are not as common, per se, but they are not abnormal. There is no taboo for premarital sex. It is highly recommended for a pendragon to be selective about partners and to at least be in an intimate relationship, and it is thought that keeping oneself for engagement and marriage is extremely honourable. Some traditions, such as the Addfesmatt tradition below, even call for sex before the marriage ceremony so that the couple's egg can be present, so this is an illustration of how some Earthen norms are definitely not carried over to Ramath-lehi.
Addfesmatt Fastening Tradition
Credited to Stormwing
This Swarajian wedding tradition involves several separate celebrations over the course of a few weeks. It is an ancient and spiritual practise, often used by upper class pendragons.
It all starts with the engaged couple’s consummation of their bond – and their conception of an egg. The couple usually spends the day together, oftentimes with other family members present, and basically celebrates their romance. When night falls, they meet up with a seer at a private location of their choice, usually their home. The seer, along with two female helpers, draws a ceremonial bath, adding oils and scents that are said to aid in conceiving. The two lovers spend roughly one or two hours in the bath and this is where they are expected to sexually consummate their relationship with the expectation of conceiving. During this time, a seer will stand outside but nearby, praying (to Dymikca and Ciba, and maybe even Hysgan Tdutl) and meditating on the conception of the nioti. Other family members may be present in the general area, but most often it’s a private night between the lovers and the seer.
The main idea of this practice is for the egg to be present for the main ceremony, so the nuptials are timed roughly twenty days after the ceremonial bath and conception so that the thill lays it on or before the day of the celebration. During and after the laying of the egg, the same seer returns to oversee and bless the unborn nioti and also to pray (to Mytlad, Oyut, and Gniorun). As for the ceremony, which is referred to as "fastening," it takes place in two parts. In the first part, the couple, along with their parents, their egg, a witness or two, and an overseer, exchanges vows and rings in a private chamber. The second part comes afterwards, when the rest of the family and friends celebrate with the couple.
Oftentimes, the seer will visit the couple several times while their egg is incubating, to bless it, pray (to Oyutl and Gniorun) and meditate upon it, and also to discuss predictions, especially concerning tattoos. He or she is, of course, called when the actual hatching occurs.
Omesjei Tradition
Credited to Lucian
After a mate has been picked out by a male and they are both well on the way with their relationship, for marriage the male is expected to present the female with a gift as proof of his intentions. The gift is also a measure of wealth and can be used to determine who could better care for a female. If the gift is accepted then after a fairly short period of time later the couple will be expected to have a ceremony.
At the ceremony the male and female walk together with their tails entwined at the front of a parade containing all their invited guests and families. They usually have to make their own vows of some kind, and after that they use the male's tail flame to melt a metal such as gold. This is then poured into to moulds on the spot and used to make two matching rings or bracelets which are a symbol of their unity.
Rympemd Tradition
Credited to Lautir
A fairly modern tradition that ties into old customs from the Sudesha region is the Rympemd ceremony. 10 days after the male purposes to his mate a large party is held at either of the parents of the engaged house. (Who ever is willing to hold the party) Everyone is invited to this celebration and the parties are known to last long into the night. It’s during this party that everyone is celebrating the new life that the couple is about to being as they work their way toward their marriage. Within the next few days, plans are made for the saying of the vows and exchange of gifts between the couple. Lots of thought is put into the gifts and neither of the pair is able to ask for help in what they give each other.
Most of the family stays around during this time between the party and the binding ceremony, comforting the couple and showing their support for the marriage.
When the couple are finally ready for the saying of vows and exchange of gifts, they gather alone with a seer or religious master at dawn to perform a small ceremony where the two will express their love in words and gifts that best represent their other half (often the gifts are similar by chance because of the connection there’s said to be between a couple that’s truly in love.)
For the rest of the day, they spend it completely alone with each other. It is often during this time when they consummate their marriage and promise each other that they will be together forever. Some times, a small gathering is held the next day with the immediate family where the parents will give there finale blessing on their children.
After that, every five years and one day a large party is often held at the opposite families home, (opposite from the first party) where the couple will once again exchange new vows, promising each other to one another. From then on the party moves back and forth between each household.
Sha Qyememd Tradition (for Yki)
Credited to Reverse
Marriage amongst the Yki is both a serious, and highly jovial occasion for all those involved. Once a male and female have made the decision to become lifelong partners, the male (or on rare occasion the female) leaves their home tribe to join their future mate in their tribe. The newcomer is treated as an outsider, set up in a temporary shelter on the outskirts of the settlement, where over the course of a week they are visited by the adults of the tribe who will inspect the male/female. At this time, if any problem arises regarding the ‘dragons suitability/compatibility, this is the point where any who wish to do so will approach the medicine dragon and voice any concerns. If any serious issue arises, the ceremonies will be postponed indefinitely until things are either solved or dismissed.
The Yki mate for love only, and there is no unspoken obligation for an unwed pregnant female to mate at any point to the father of her offspring. In many cases couples never produce children, either due to environmental or political conditions –such as famine or war- or they’ve discussed the idea and decided against having kits. Their beliefs incorporate the fact that a pairs bond extends into Fronima, and that their spirits will once again be together in death. Re-marriage is a highly frowned upon taboo, almost viewed with the same distaste as prostitution in other parts of the world.
The ceremony is accompanied by a day of feasting, drinking, storytelling and general good spirits. The act of the medicine ‘dragon ‘bonding’ the pairs spirits together is a public event, will all who are able enough attending. A small amount of blood drawn from the tribes dyp'khelp is used by the medicine ‘dragon to draw small markings on the face, nape, and the pads of the forepaws of both partners, small glyphs meant to bless and protect the new couple. Small tokens are exchanged between the male and female, usually ornaments of precious and semi-precious stones as well as coloured glass and wooden beads. The gifts are most often worn by both for the rest of their lives; perhaps an anklet of carved ivory, or colourful beads woven into the mane or hair, but they are symbolic things left over from a time when the Yki had to prove to a potential mate that they were capable of providing. It is often regarded that the better the craftsmanship and the rarer the parts of the gift, the stronger the bond will be.
Whichever party, male or female, is joining the tribe is greeting warmly by all members of their new home, and is showered with gifts in an act similar to the way a youth is accepted into adulthood. The tribe as a whole helps to construct the home for the pair, as well as to help move into it. Gifts given are most often things useful for establishing a new home, such as bedding, cookware, and clothing. Beaded arm guards and cloaks are particularly popular in most of the larger tribes.
Omesea (for same-sex couples)
Credited to Attrius.
The Omesea is a relatively modern ritual taking place over the course of a week, formulated for homosexual couples. In the first three days of the ritual is partying with the couple’s family and friends. Beginning on Fespui, the couple invites their family, on Laipui, their most intimate friends, and on Jaspui the rest they wish to invite to their wedding. The fourth day is ended with celebrating and a wedding party, at which the couple give each other gifts, but do not exchange vows.
On the fifth day, the couple venture to a secret location of their choosing where they consummate their relationship. The three days following are spent with the couple being alone together, where they prove, in their own way, that each is the other’s world entire.
On Nerpui, with only the company of a government or religious official, the couple exchanges vows.
