I think that my physical description is long but it won't let me complete it. I have four lines and it still thinks it is still too short. Can anyone help me?? so far i have this...Big and stocky. Big horns. Black scales with a reddish hint. Big claws. Big teeth. Big leathery wings that are shiny and black with red horns at the tips. A horn on my nose. Eyebrow horns. Cheekbone horns. I have 5 fingers with short talons. They are hard and thick. My feet are big and with long talons.
You need to get into more detail with it. Big and stocky. Big horns. Black scales with a reddish hint. Big claws. Big teeth. Big leathery wings that are shiny and black with red horns at the tips. A horn on my nose. Eyebrow horns. Cheekbone horns. I have 5 fingers with short talons. They are hard and thick. My feet are big and with long talons. There are a lot of Incomplete sentences there. ^^ And repetition of the word Big.(Dictionary.com has a thesaurus If you'd like too look up a variety of words to use. ^^ )Describe your character a bit more. He has big horns: well, what color are they? are they shiny? Do they look like a rams horns, curling around the head? Are they straight? Do they lean back along the head? Big Claws: Are they pearly white? Are they of yellow hint? Heck, are they lime green? XD Get creative. What color is your characters eyes? Do they have any special features? Do they glow? Sparkle perhaps? I would suggest not using 'I' when describing your character. In Character (while Role playing,) You use Third person, He/she. With that, its easier to understand when you read a profile if you use He/She because when i began to read this, i thought you were talking about yourself when i read "i". If you need anymore help, i'd be glad to give some more suggestions. ^^
OK i have revised it and it still says its too short. any ideas? so far..... Big and stocky body form. He has large slightly slanted backwrds horns on each side of his forehead. Black scales with a reddish hint. Crimson claws that are curved inward. Large leathery wings that are shiny and black with red horns at the tips. A curved horn on my nose. Which is black and shiny. Small spiky eyebrowhorns. That are red and firey looking. I have 5 fingers with short talons. They are hard and thick. They are also crimson in color. His feet are big with short talons.They are crimson in color. His eyes are black and shiny with a small red circle in the middle of them. His eyes only sparkle when he's happy. He has a long red tongue that is forked at the tip. Do you have any more suggestions? Oh and thank you for what you have given me!
Try this: Write out the description as if you were telling it to a friend. You should write it out word for word and leave nothing out, even the type of slang you might use in your everyday speech. Since you are presumably very excited about your pendragon, you are going to be very descriptive, especially since you want your friend to understand every facet of your dragon. Talk about your dragon like he is an individual and not just words on paper. Think carefully, slow down, take in a deep breath and slowly let it out. Then begin the thought process as you carefully construct what will describe an amazing creation. Post what you did here, and I'll give you some more pointers from there.
Also, after you've worked on your pendragons description a bit, take a peek at the instructions above the Physical Desc text box. ^^ hehe.
You sentences are choppy. String them together using "connecting words" (such as 'and', 'as well', 'just like', and the such), but remember not to create run-one sentences. As well, I see that you're still speaking in first-person a few times. Look over your description carefully - and use spell-check, too. I can see some typos. Let me give you a few examples of what I mean by "connecting your sentences". Instead of: "A curved horn on my nose. Which is black and shiny." A black horn juts in a shining, polished curve from his nose. Instead of: "Small spiky eyebrowhorns. That are red and firey looking." A few small, spiked horns dot the arden's (male pendragon, in case you didn't know) eyebrows, painted with red. Get what I'm saying? See what you can do with: "I have 5 fingers with short talons. They are hard and thick. They are also crimson in color."
Write as though you were writing a book. I mean like enough to give someone some true idea to the character, enough to make him seem real or alive.
Yeah it accepted it (or at least untill its approved) so i finished with this.........Big and stocky body form. He has large slightly slanted backward horns on each side of his forehead. Black scales with a reddish hint. Crimson claws that are curved inward.Large leathery wings those are shiny and black with red horns at the tips. He has a curved, shiny, and black horn on his nose. Small, red eyebrow horns that are fiery looking. He has 5 fingers that are short but hard, crimson in color, and very strong. His feet are big with long talons that are crimson in color. His eyes are black and shiny with a small red circle in the middle of them. His eyes only sparkle when he's happy. He has a long red tongue that is forked at the tip. He smells slightly like a wood burning fire and molten metal. His scales are triangle in shape and also point down towards the floor. His tail is long and spiked at the end. His tail also kind of looks like that of a stegosaurus. His wigs resemble those of a bat, but are scaly. His head is shaped that of a alligator. He has no webbing between his fingers and toes. His neck and body resemble the shape of a Chinese dragon. He has long whiskers that come out of the side of his nose. They are black in color and are about 10 centimeters long. His belly is the same color of the rest of his body. He has silver hair that juts out of his head. They are spiky and are between his horns Thanks for everthing guys. Your help is very appreciated. Thanks
