Plicae’s ears flicked when Koani decided to continue, and he made thoughtful noises as she spoke more about the Rapine language. He wished he had something useful to say, something to reassure her yet again that he was not repulsed by this revelation. However, he was pretty much speechless for the moment. What could he possibly say to make her feel better about it? Before too long, she switched subjects, anyway, referring to Saber once again. When Koani firmly stated that she had not killed Saber, Plicae was finally spurred into words, his heart going out to her because of the audacity of that accusation. “Jeez, people think you killed him? I never thought that for a second, even with all the different stories and rumors flying about," the arden spoke honestly, his colorless eyes opening completely as they searched the depths of Koani’s own gaze. “I apologize on behalf of everybody that’s ever accused you of stupid crap like that," he said with some feeling, though his voice was drowsy. “That’s just… terrible," he finished with a sigh. His brain was still too slow to come up with satisfactory replies to the thill’s heavy confessions. Koani lightened the mood up a bit when she moved off serious subjects, and put forth a more lighthearted confession. When she blew into his face, Plicae certainly did smell the alcohol on her breath, but then suddenly the scent didn’t seem too important, or even too funny, anymore. Plicae froze and stared at her pursed mouth, enjoying the feel of her warm breath on his face, and his jaw worked as tingling sensations broke out all over his body. His own breath caught in his throat and he suddenly had another admission of his own to add to their “show and tell," something that was simultaneously heavy and lightening… “Okay, okay, my turn," he breathed, and he rolled onto his elbows so that he was slightly above Koani, but only by an inch or so. “This one actually just came to me… but I think I’m ready to share it. Weird thing is, I’m telling myself just as much as you. But, anyway…" The arden hovered over Koani for a good ten seconds, biting his lip as if he wasn’t sure he was ready to plunge ahead. But the feel of the female’s breath on him had awoken a realization within him, and he knew that speaking it aloud would drive it in for him as much as her. Perhaps he would feel a little guilty about it, maybe a little sad… but for the most part, he thought he would finally feel free after over a year of nothing but pain, grief, and loneliness. “…I think I’m finally ready to let go," he finally said, and he leaned a bit closer to Koani’s face, now gently exhaling his own breath into her slightly ajar mouth. He kept moving closer and closer, his bangs brushing against her face, until their mouths were finally touching. For a split second, their breaths simply mingled, and then Plicae pressed his lip to the corner of Koani’s maw, kissing her there before slowly but surely placing a firm kiss fully on her mouth, a chaste and reticent, but still meaningful gesture.
It seemed just like him. To apologize to her for all the accusations that other people had made. Although he had lost quite a bit of he eloquence, whether that be because of the herbs, or just plain exhaustion, Plicae's words still meant a lot to her. She wanted to draw him into a tight hug. Plicae was saved from that momentarily though. He shifted once more in the bed, drawing himself over her a little bit. Koani's stomach filled with butterflies as she felt Plicae's penis brush gently against mid-section. He had yet another confession. Koani stared up at him, her blue-green eyes willing the words out of him. She had a pretty clear idea as to what they would be. Still, he hovered. Then finally, he spoke. I think I’m finally ready to let go. Koani continued to breathe softly after this admission. It meant so many things. Somewhere though, something inside of her was trilling, competing with that other nagging voice inside of her head. Then Plicae was moving in closer, his muzzle nearly brushing against hers. They gently exhaled on one another for a moment, and then Koani found Plicae kissing her. She leaned a little further into his kiss, although it continued to remain quite chaste. When it was over, Koani's hand went up to pull Plicae back down to her level. She slipped her arms around him, pulling the dark arden into a tight hug. “Mm. It's not everyday that my... pillow kisses me," she said as she gave him a squeeze. Although she would have much liked to savour that moment even more, the intimateness of their hug seemed to be a little more than she had bargained for. Koani gently nuzzled his neck before withdrawing. Then she was on her knees beside him. Her head swam a little from the effort of sitting up. Wordlessly, Koani pushed firmly at Plicae's side. A gesture that was surely telling him to roll over onto his other side. Once he had done so, Koani lay back down beside him, pulling the blanket back over herself as she did so. Without any hesitation, the Grader moved closer to him, pressing her stomach and chest tightly against his back as her left leg, and then arm draped themselves over his body. Quite successfully clinging to him now, Koani nestled her muzzle in the groove between his shoulder and the side of his neck. “I think... you make a rather good pillow, Plicae Decatur. I think I rather like you as well. I'm also glad that you're ready to let go." Koani said softly now. “I just don't want to hurt you."
Plicae had half feared that the kiss would be met with revulsion, and that Koani would pull away, disgust and agitation etched upon her face. Instead, he was greeted with acceptance, and even a bit of returned participation as the thill leaned upwards and into the kiss. The simplicity of her positive response instantly had several inward and outward effects upon him: his belly filled with butterflies, his throat constricted with unvoiced giggles, and he also sustained an instant erection. “Shit," he breathed as their exchange ended, though his murmur was so low that it was likely Koani hadn’t even heard. It was then that she drew him into a tight hug, and Plicae wanted to melt into it. However, he found himself sucking his stomach in and arching his back a little so he could avoid prodding her. “God… and I bet it’s not everyday that your pillow gets stiff on you," Plicae nearly choked, laughing at his quipped response to Koani’s words. Although he was trying his best not to allow his penis to touch her, it was proving difficult, and he was sure that she’d noticed. “Pretty obvious I haven’t ‘gotten any’ in over a year…" he added on, a sad but amused smile on his face. Luckily, the lukuo was saved from anymore amusing discomfort, for Koani loosed her grip on him and sat up. She placed her hands on his side and firmly pushed at him, and for a second, he was a little mortified, thinking she was shoving him clear out of the bed. However, his worries were quickly put to rest as she indicated for him to simply roll over, and the arden complied, glad to be facing in the other direction. Perhaps this way he could cool down and relax himself, and even will his erection away. Then again, perhaps not. Koani molded herself against his back, and wrapped her arm and leg around him. It was an extremely intimate embrace, and Plicae bit his lip. It was simultaneously so pleasurable, on both a physical and emotional level, but also a little bit tormenting. Maybe he’d be able to work himself out of it yet, though. “Hurt me?" the male said almost distractedly when Koani’s soft voice whispered in his ear. “You’re doing exactly the opposite," he replied. “This is so perfect for me right now. This is just what I need. You’re helping me so much, and I hope that, in some way, I am helping you too." As he spoke, his right arm reached behind him to grasp at her hand, and he made his peculiar “murring" noise just for her ears.
Koani hadn't been offended at all by Plicae's erection. In fact, she appeared to be quite thoroughly pleased. If she hadn't thought that Plicae's mind wasn't in such a delicate place, she might have acted differently. As it was though, she didn't want to do anything that might make him further regret entering her bed. She wanted so badly to tease him though. To simply drive him mad with light touches and kisses. Then eventually go down and take care of his erection herself. What she wanted to do was a lot different that was she was going to do though. She wasn't about to allow herself to be dissuaded by any feelings of lust. Koani rather liked to be in control – if not in control of others, then in control of herself. “I'll have you know that... stiff pillows tend to get beaten into submission," she said jokingly. Her voice was still quiet. Now that she was so close to Plicae's ear, she barely rose it above a whisper. All the while keeping it soft and lulling. Plicae then took hold of her hand and made those strange murring noises that she was beginning to associate with him. Koani found herself feeling quite torn again. He was so nice, so trusting. Was she any of those things? Unlike Plicae, Koani had taken other lovers since the death of her husband. Not many, but a few. Behind her there was a thin string of failed relationships and a few meaningless flings. Each and every one of them she had lied to. Although she had been truthful to Plicae so far, would her honesty last? Could they still just be friends? Or had that boundary already been crossed? Did she already have his heart in her hands? Did he already have hers? There were so many complications. Koani was trying her best to push these thoughts away. She wanted so much for sleep to come. “It feels perfect. Or rather, you feel perfect," Koani said, then inhaled deeply. She continued to refrain from doing anything that would incite him. She simply revelled in warmth and cosiness of being so close to a living being. “Perhaps I'm not hurting you right now... but I could. I think we are helping each other at the moment. Using each other for comfort. Just, try not to get too attached... There are still a lot of things you don't know about me."
Plicae smiled and laughed a little at Koani’s words, his hand squeezing hers as she spoke about beating him into submission. It was an innuendo, he knew, and perhaps in the future he would like to be the subject of the thill’s affectionate “beatings." However, right now, it was enough that they were cuddling so closely. They were being intimate without toeing the line; they were still being friends while being more than just that. It was a pretty good balance, and Plicae liked it that way. In the future, he hoped their relationship would grow, but there was no rush, no pressure, nothing but openness and understanding. When Koani spoke again, her words now much more pessimistic as she talked once more about hurting him, the arden delicately pinched her fingers as if to shush her. “Don’t be such a pessimist. Just live in the moment and enjoy it. That’s what I’m doing. It’s a waste of time to worry about this or that, or feel guilty or apprehensive. Just let it all go," he purred to her, and he brushed his tail lightly against her belly, which was pressed against his back. “Don’t think about the past, don’t think about the future, don’t think about strings. Think about how it feels to be holding someone, me, here, now." The arden lapsed into silence then, taking his own advice, though he was thinking about holding her, of course. His nerves awoke to every bit of pressure her body was applying to his, each point where they were in contact tingling as he took a deep breath and steeped himself in the feel of it all. He found such concentration to relax and lull him, and even as he tried to stay awake long enough to really savor Koani’s embrace, Plicae began to slip into sleep, his eyes closing though his hand never loosened from hers. Just before he finally drifted off, Plicae squeezed the thill’s fingers and then broke their grasp, but only for a second. He brought his left hand up close to his face and used the right one to slowly but surely twist his wedding band off. He then held it tightly in his left fist as his right hand wrapped back around him to hold Koani’s once more. It was the first time he’d taken it off since he’d put it on at his and Jejunum’s wedding, and it was somewhat difficult to do so. However, Plicae had been honest when he’d said he was letting go. He would always treasure his wife’s memory, but now it was coming time to close that chapter in his life and start writing a new one. Now, with Koani’s fingers clenched in one hand and his dead wife’s ring in the other, Plicae finally succumbed to his drowsiness. Every inch of his body relaxed, and to his great relief, his erection even faded. Dreams came on swift wings, and tonight there was no fire, no smoke, no blood, but only a refreshing breeze that smelled a little like alcohol…
Koani could feel the minute vibrations caused by Plicae's voice when he spoke once more. They were rather soothing, as were his words. Telling her not to worry and to simply live in the moment. This had been her idea after all. She should be enjoying the spontaneity as they used one another for comfort. If there were problems later, they'd deal with them as they came. Still, he wouldn't be able to say she hadn't warned him. She let the room fill with a sleepy silence after Plicae had spoken and closed her eyes. She focused on him and his body that she was holding captive. His multi-coloured hair against her face. The feel of his back pressed tightly against her. His shortly cropped tail that had brushed up against her belly. “I'll try," Koani said after a moment, though her words were barely audible. Plicae was warm, his fur still damp and was smelling rather sweetly. Koani knew that she would have no problems falling asleep with him tightly wrapped up in her possessive grip. Plicae certainly didn't seem to be having any problems, for his breathing was starting to become even more relaxed as he drifted closer to the realm of sleep. The last thing that Koani did before she too slipped off was make a strangely affectionate sound. It started off as quiet hiss, then turned into a soft purling growl with the right curl of her tongue. Then she too drifted off, her breathing drawing itself out to match the rise and fall of Plicae's chest. All concious action had come to a complete halt and now it was time for the unconscious to reign. The continual rise and fall of chests as contented breathing ensued; the reconstruction work that was occurring as two emotionally wounded hearts attempted to repair one another.
