Acer knew death. The father, the son, and the Holy Spirit; mother, father, and brother, praise da Lawd, ahhhmen. All had died, and these three were still faint and ill at ease. Perhaps the former two, more then the latter. He did not brood on his favorite sibling – Zhare had been younger, and had still had his innocence, and did not believe it would be right. But his parents - they remained like ghosts, appearing in the faces of others and mocking him at every turn. When he looked at Xael, he could see Damian. When he closed his blue eyes, he could see Maia. And the two of them had become the dark, who wove nightmares out of silk and plastic. Through the eyes of the dead, Dylan could learn. He shut his eyes and saw more then he did when they were opened. That was almost frightening. <span style='color:white'>"It hurt that I couldn't tell her the truth,"</span> he began. <span style='color:white'>"Well – "</span> He paused, a bitter, metallic tang invading his mind. <span style='color:white'>"I could've. But I was too afraid. I needed her, and I was scared that I lose her; that she wouldn't accept me for who I really was."</span> He laughed softly as the two-toned female revealed the toxic spines that were imbedded into the flesh of her arms.<span style='color:white'>"I guess you're sort of lucky to have those, though, I mean. Your spines though - they… look pretty on you."</span> Aci smiled sheepishly, a moment of pregnant silence looming over the two before he spoke again. <span style='color:white'>"My horns, though – "</span> He tapped one of the bleach-white spirals for emphasis before continuing.<span style='color:white'>"They deflected the rapine a few times. Probably would've died if I didn't have them. My claws, though, were really what saved me."</span> The shadow-wept arden flexed his fingers, his talons unsheathing and slipping out. Four inches long when fully extended, they were sharp enough that they couldn't even be touched by bare flesh without drawing blood. <span style='color:white'>"I know it kind of sounds nasty, but how I killed the rapine attacking me… I, well – shoved one of my claws into one of the eyes until it went back into the brain, and it… died."</span> Acer grimaced, a slightly amused look lacing his striped muzzle. <span style='color:white'>"As for my parents – "</span> He sighed. <span style='color:white'>"I was just in such emotional shock, initally, that I didn't really feel anything. I kept telling myself that they were going to come back – that they were just on a trip or something. It hurt when I realized the truth, though… that they were dead. That's when I added Sharpshooting onto my trades – I wanted to prevent that from happening again."</span> He laid his jaw on one palm, his embow supported by a folded knee. <span style='color:white'>"I can see their faces, still. Xael looks like my dad. Zhare, though – when he died, I think that that's what still hurts the most. He shouldn't have died so young – it… just wasn't fair. I mean, why him, instead of me? Xael – to reassure me – he used to always say that there was a reason that I was here, a reason why I, of all people, was still alive. I still don't know why."</span> It seemed everyone was damned. Perhaps that was why they were here. Their own minature version of hell, in preperation for the real thing. But he wondered if there even was a heaven and a hell - perhaps there was no such thing. Maybe they would be reincarnated. Maybe nothing happened. Maybe that was the end. It had never bothered him, either, because whether or not he existed after death was not of much concern to him. Though he could die abruptly, it didn't occupy his thoughts for long periods of time. But everything was eventual, his decease included. One day it would come, and there would be nothing left. Nothing but him, his memories, and the ghosts of 'Ani's face haunting his mind forevermore.
ooc - Insanely late reply. :x The sad thing is, I've had this sitting on my computer for the longest time unfinished. I should probably be better at replying now that I'm not absorbed by college/finding a job stuff. Tell September not come near me. >__> --- “It hurt that I couldn't tell her the truth. Well – I could've. But I was too afraid. I needed her, and I was scared that I lose her; that she wouldn't accept me for who I really was." "I bet," Koani said with a gentle nod of her head. That was definitely something that she could relate to. Although she herself reacted quite differently in similar situations. Opting to push those away who got close to her. It was hurtful to both parties... but in the long run? It was probably the better thing to do. Generally the less Koani was involved with someone, the safer and better off they were. “I guess you're sort of lucky to have those, though, I mean. Your spines though - they… look pretty on you." Koani smiled. Again, here Dylan was with the compliments. Despite all of his obvious hardships, he could still find worth in things. “My horns, though – They deflected the rapine a few times. Probably would've died if I didn't have them. My claws, though, were really what saved me." As Dylan recounted his gruesome tale, Koani found herself thinking back on her own encounter with the rapine on Candrice. Saber was always at the forefront of her memories whenever she tried to recall that particular event. He'd been her hero. “Nasty," she said in response to Dylan's recollection of gouging eyes and killing the rapine. “I can't say that I've ever been as fierce as that. I've never really been much of a fighter. Physically at least anyway... I've always been more in tune with Fronima and working magic. Then it didn't really help that Candrice had almost no connection to Fronima at all," she paused. Magic activity had been exceedingly low on Candrice. Almost as if the entire planet was being shielded from it. There had been a less than one percent connection measured when they had first surveyed the area. It was so weak that many of their Fronima powered devices had failed to function properly – if at all. Even their ship, the Dragyn's rust bucket Sha Pjudym Xemd III had been forced to switch to its secondary power source in order to land safely. Then of course the Pjudym Xemd had never taken off again. (Lorax swore that it had been sabotaged. Maybe it had been. Although in Koani's opinion, it had sort of always been a hunk of junk.) I'd gone down with Candrice... the survivors having to rely upon the various escape vessels. “Definitely nasty." Her comment now referring to the entire tragedy and not just the mental image of Dylan's graphical killing. Now that Dyl' was talking about his parents, Koani felt as if the atmosphere had suddenly gotten a little cooler. When Dylan had lost his parents in the first place, Koani had felt for her friend. What must it feel like to lose your caretakers? Those people who you were (usually) the closest to? Koani had thought that she knew, now that she had lost her own parents. Yet talking to Dylan was making her feel differently. She didn't know his kind of loss. She couldn't feel his true pain. Perhaps she could relate on some sort of level, but she'd never really know what he felt unless he shared his feelings with her on a different plane. “Dyl', I'm sorry. I don't really know why I'm still here - still alive - either. Maybe both of us have purposes that we just aren't aware of just yet. Maybe there is a reason for all of this. A reason for everything that we've been through. I honestly don't think there is though. I can't believe in that thing called fate. Things just happen. Sometimes good, sometimes bad. Just like how some people wind up with good streaks, the two of us have notoriously bad luck streaks. We drew the short sticks in life, I suppose." Koani slipped her hand up onto Dylan's shoulder and rubbed it gently. He'd been hunched up in a rather contemplative pose and Koani feared that he may be dwelling upon things just a little too much. “You've got a friend in me, okay? I've already lost touch with you once. Let's not let that happen again." Koani gave him an encouraging smile. “Say, have you kept in touch with Canith at all? Little bit younger than us, shortish, deaf-mute, pilot? I heard that she was the ringleader who made sure that all the kids got off of Candrice quickly and safely. I've been meaning to catch up with her... and well, express my gratitude. No one says thank you enough anymore." Canith had been but one oddity on Sha Pjudym Xemd III's crew. It had looked as if Lorax and Draco had assembled an entire team of eccentrics. Canith had been a special case. Similar to Dylan, she had gone through the USR, only specializing in the air force. Unfortunately because of her handicap, she was denied training past a certain point and wasn't allowed to become a fully fledged USR Pilot. Although this denied her from becoming a pilot for the USR specifically, it didn't deny her from becoming a pilot for another corporation... Koani still wondered just how Lorax had managed to find her, let alone convince the girl to join his expedition. Whenever she had asked, Lorax had laughed, prompting Koani to jokingly accuse him of tricking the girl into joining. Lorax wasn't much fun anymore though. Which was entirely understandable. He'd been another unfortunate soul whose life had been ravaged by the Candrice incident.
OOC: *pushes school away* GET! SHOO! NOW! :P I entirely understand, Jods. I haven't replied to any of my threads in... so long. \ IC: Were there words to explain the moment your heart broke? Dylan, when not lost in his memories, was highly intelligent. His was a beautiful mind lost to the ravages of reality. If his life had been kinder and the cirumstances different, he might have been something even more wonderful. But that joy, and that skill, like everything about him that had been good, had been stripped away. So was the life of one once with faith. But something had to help cover those scars. The tattoos he had gotten had been things to help. Swirling, patterened tribal things. Heathen patterns for a sinner. He crumbled against 'Ani and held on. It felt so good to have someone hold him that didn't want to fuck him. Part of him was absolutely certain no one else had ever done that before. It wasn't in anyone's nature. Suddenly, he was shaking and trembling in her arms. Crying without weeping. His breath came soft and shallow in uneven patterns. He composed himself and looked around. <span style='color:gray'>"Ani…?"</span> he said, closing his eyes and swallowing hard. <span style='color:gray'>"Shumc iyo. My yma't abaj halp na ravyja feshyos fumsemd sy tlaag fesh na."</span> He laughed softly; bitterly, and then looked off in the distance. They always lied about Ajita at night. Acer had lived here for 6 years, and in those 6 years, he had never seen too much life around downtown. People went home. The shows were attractions once and a while, but mostly, they never lasted long enough to keep a crowd. There was no parking, and the streets were packed with bad drivers, homeless bums, and anti-abortion protestors. They handed out little plastic fetuses. He had impaled one at home. He had burnt another in front of them and ignored the fact it let out cyanide. The high school kids who had been harassing the same group looked both amazed and baffled. They didn’t believe that someone else out there was as radical as they were with their hot pink hair and patches that said 'FUCK YOU'. He nodded softly at her words, the ghost of a smile lacing his lips. "<span style='color:gray'>I saw her about two years ago in a coffee shop. I said hi, and she recognized me, and we started telepathing. I got a headache, though."</span> He chuckled. <span style='color:gray'>"She said that she'd been working for some third-party corporations, but she didn't specify anything. I wouldn't be surprised if Lorax had her work for him, though." </span>He ran a hand through his hair before continuing. <span style='color:gray'>"Do you remember that really green guy with the white eyes and the sunglasses and trenchcoat? The one who lost his leg when working for your family – have you seen him since? His name was Aiden Veggie-something-or-another. But they call him "The Adder" on the streets or whatever, I think."</span> It was very dark out now. Some psychologists had radical methods in which sight was eliminated from being. In darkness it is assumed the mind will wander to what is brooding upon it. The problem with Dylan was that what came was no train of thought he could clearly follow. Sometimes he saw images of his past, where his mother would be singing some holy song he didn’t remember now. Sometimes there was a realization of the moment he lost his faith. It was in a temple, when he was just 9. The words stopped meaning anything. The mass was just garbage. He had stood and left and gone outside, and there, he had realized that faith was dead. That was what Nietzche said.
When Dylan crumbled against her and into her embrace, Koani felt her throat tightly constrict. The moment was fragile. She wondered briefly if she herself would start crying. No... not now. Sobbing definitely wasn't beneath her by any means. However, at this moment in time, it didn't feel like the right thing to do. This was Dylan's time. Koani continued to softly rub the arden's back, murmuring a few quiet words meant to soothe. All the while she could feel his body trembling underneath her touch. He hadn't lost himself to his emotions. His breath, while shallow and uneven, was still relatively controlled. It took a moment or two, but before long Dylan came back to himself. Once he had regained his composure, he met her eyes. “Ani…? Shumc iyo. My yma't abaj halp na ravyja feshyos fumsemd sy tlaag fesh na." The Grader thill smiled in response. It was both a relief and an honour to be thought of in that light. The fact that Dylan felt comfortable in her presence and not ashamed for his momentarily loss said a lot as well. Koani felt that she could really trust him – not that she hadn't before. With that behind them now, the conversation once again started to move forward. It was good to hear from Dylan that Canith was still around and apparently still in the space business. Talk about being fearless. The majority of survivors from Candrice had dropped out of the space field altogether, having lost all desire to travel off-world. Somehow it made sense that Canith was most likely still working for Lorax. Despite all of Lorax's losses – several of his children, as well as the sanity of his wife, all because of Candrice – he still hadn't been driven away from his career. That was true passion... or perhaps simply an unhealthy obsession. Koani laughed. “That's good that she's still doing what she loves. Personally, I don't really think she would have been happy doing anything else." Now Koani was trying to remember the figure Dylan had just named. The Adder. Did she remember him? Yes. You didn't forget a pendragon like that quite easily. She hadn't known him personally though. “Yes... I do. Vaguely at best though. I didn't really get into... business like that. I think he worked specifically for my father. Zamfir always had several ardens and thills that he hired for specific duties. I noticed that he had a tendency to hire on people who showed considerable skill with magic... Which has always been a family trait of ours. Hm... now that you mention it though, I don't think I've seen The Adder around for quite some time now. I know for certain I haven't seen him at all after my father died." Here Koani stopped and adjusted her coat, as if wrapping herself tighter in it would ward off the darkness. Talking about her father was strange. Every time she talked about him she took on a façade. Her guise was believable. She'd put it on so many times now that it had become natural. There was no way to tell now where the truth ended and the lie began.
Sure, he had the looks. He had the smile, the body, the face, everything. He was smart, he was funny, he was a good catch. But heÂ’d killed. Maybe it was sick and wrong, but that was how things rolled. You got shot down for standing up. But was he really a monster? No, Acer did not believe so. As long as the mathematical equation balances out, the good can even out the bad. One act should not scar a man for the rest of his life. This might have marked him as a liberal in the eyes of a political system. But Dylan believed in some conservative ideas, so this too balanced him out. He was a centralist, honestly. Not sure where his beliefs balanced out, but they did. All results came back to zero. And here in lied the problem. People were always expecting something more meaty then zero. They needed a reason to tear it apart. They needed flesh to shred. In making the critical choice to move over the line between man and animal, Ace had effectively placed himself in the hypocritical role. Concepts such as survival of the fittest, as applied to social structure, were also taken up. Maybe that was why he had never been content to live in the hole in the wall like the other ones who had not spent so long in a building. He gazed at Koani. She was the face that could change the world. She had been born to save - maybe it was damn - them all. Either way, nothing would be the same. HeÂ’d stand beside her until the end of the world, if sheÂ’d let him. If she was Jesus, he was the apostle. If she was the Antichrist, then he was Beezelbub. He was the wolf in sheepÂ’s clothing. But really, he needed to keep a visible mark of separation. Without it, he was nothing more then the others. And he was something more. He knew it. Being a masochist was just so close to being Christ, after all. And they had both been crucified before. "'Ani..." he said softly, soft smile settling over his face. "I... um, was wondering if you'd like to come to a Tumhuem party I'm throwing at my house. I'd really like it if you came."
It was hard to make good friends. Koani's acquaintances were numerous. Her contacts stretched well into the thousands and beyond. So many pendragons knew her, but not many of them actually cared. To some she was simply an object, to others she was a means of power. As a result, Koani could count those she considered to be her friends on a single hand. Good friends were indeed hard to come by. Secret keepers were even more of a rarity. Koani smiled as she met Dylan's gaze. It seemed to her as if it were a night straight from the pages of a storybook. The sky had been beautiful. The air had been cold, yet not exactly frigid. The conversation had been good, albeit shaking and soul crushing at times. In the end though, she'd ultimately found her old friend. “Ani... I... um, was wondering if you'd like to come to a Tumhuem party I'm throwing at my house. I'd really like it if you came." She didn't even need to think in order to know what her answer would be. “You know that I'd be delighted to, Dyl," she said with a small laugh. “Now give me some details. When and where being the most important. I don't think I'd be able to do an entire week of festivities. Time's been hard to come by lately." Time was a sacred thing. Although it was only Mia, Koani was already quite booked up for the rest of the quarter. Dyo was already quite solid, and Tria was just starting to fill up. Knowing this far in advance though, she could easily reschedule things for Dylan.
uh. wanna finish up this thread? The winter rhapsody glazing the wind in moonlight and in hope was nothing if not supremely soporific. The tautened muscles of the abysmal-gray he-luoko visibly relaxed, his pupils regulating and his stature shifting with a gusty sigh. Dylan was pleased she was coming; another half-grin curved up the right curve of his muzzle as was his wont before subsiding again into a quiet attentiveness. It was clear that anything Koani had to say, the designer would listen to and digest, and it was clear as well that interest tinged his features, not the throes of simple duty. Dylan wasn't listening because it was his job. He was listening because he loved her, Divinity was a matter of faith that Acer could barely come to grips with. He had become someone else after he left his former life, taken this as a sign he was growing up, ignored the monster he was feeding in the back of his mind, and gone about his days. One might think it strange that he had denied them all so quickly, but it had been a choice he had not made. So in his head, he was lying through his teeth, and for what reason? Simply because he needed to keep his sanity. Dylan had a faint idea that the truth would be more unbelievable. Hi, my mom was psychotic. My son is a rockstar. My wife was murdered. I’m in love with my best friend. Oh, and I was in the USR, too, and I was attacked by rapine! Go figure. Yeah, a real nice story. Something out of a Disney movie, that was for sure. "Tria 41st," he said, unable to keep the smile plastered across his face off. "At my house. It’s big and squarish and white, on the other side of the island. Fourty-two southeast Rloa Sjaa Luma. Starts at 9 PM. “But, uh – you could sleep over for a night, if you wanted to." Ohshit. Why did I just say that? Nowshe’sgonnafindoutohno. Brilliant. Got another pearl of wisdom up those sleeves of yours, Dylan?
ooc – Yup. I think it's pretty much done like dinner. :] Koani nodded as Dylan gave her the details. It was easy enough to remember. It was a little surprising to learn that he lived at Rloa Sjaa Luma. She knew the area fairly well. A few of her friends had lived in that area at one point in time. It was a nice community. “But, uh – you could sleep over for a night, if you wanted to." In response to this, Koani gently bit her own tongue. She wasn't quite sure how to interpret his words. He could be simply talking about the Tumhuem tradition. It was quite normal for guests to spend the night partying and then sleeping at the host's abode. Koani had held similar parties in the far distant past. Yet, there were other interpretations and Koani wasn't exactly a slow player. She reached for Acer's hand and gave it a squeeze before letting go. “I'll be there," she assured him. “You can count on it." Koani gracefully eased herself up off of the bench. They'd been talking for a while and the cold had made her feel a little stiff. She brushed the wrinkles out of her coat, stretching none too discreetly as she did so. “Well Dylan, it's been a pleasure. I missed you a lot and I think it'd hurt me to see you become a stranger. If I don't see you before then, I'll be at your party for sure. We'll see about sleeping over. I do tend to get rather busy in Tria, but maybe if you were to promise pillow forts..." Koani chuckled, she felt as if her spirits had been lifted substantially. Dylan was alive. Her old comrade, her old friend and confidant. “Anyway, I suppose we best be parting for now. My ride's been waiting pretty much this entire time for me." She nodded toward the back end of a dark grey coloured vehicle that could be seen just peeking out from the alley-way. “Not that I don't mind keeping him waiting. Don't be a stranger, Dyl."
