Free RP Training

Thread in 'Game-Related' started by KadouKitsune, Nov 4, 2012.

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  1. Greetings and salutations everyone!​
    I, with permission, will be starting up an RP training thread.​
    This thread is designed for constructive and positive growth assistance to any that ask for it.​
    There are a few simple rules that all must follow, or Iversia will take care of you.​
    1. Be courteous at ALL TIMES. I will not tolerate disrespect in my thread.​
    2. All posts will be in third person format, no exceptions. If I see any *roleplay* crap, you will be banned from the thread until I decide.​
    3. If you wish help, simply make a post with a sample of your RP style.​
    4. Anyone can help another. All you have to do is quote their post, and then post the corrected version below it.​
    5. If the corrections aren't understood by the person getting assitance, then say so, and we will explain them to you.​
    That is it. I will make two posts to show examples of how everything is going to work. DO NOT POST IN THE THREAD UNTIL THEY ARE UP!!!!!​
    [DOUBLEPOST=1352082991][/DOUBLEPOST]Hello, I need help. Here is a writing sample:

    Astrid walked around the woods, starring at the old trees in aww. Her steps were quieted by the leaves and stuff on the ground. She had no idea where she was, or how she got their. As she walked around a tree, she stopped with a gasp, seeing a male in a clearing dancing as if he could hear some music. She steped out, speaking hesitantly. "Hello, can you help me"[DOUBLEPOST=1352085229][/DOUBLEPOST]
    Astrid walked quietly through the woods, her eyes taking in everything around her in awe. The trees were simply massive, and unfamiliar to her, even though they were the same species as her homeland. Her footsteps were muffled by the dead leaves and detritus that was common to an ancient forest, only the occasional crackle of a freshly dead leaf giving any sound to her passing. Occasionally she could hear the soft twitter of a bird far overhead, the sounds of life other than her comforting her and lifting her spirits. She walked around a large tree, the sight in front of her causing the woman to gasp in surprise. In the clearing ahead of her, there was a male. He did not notice her, as his attention was directed into his activity. The unknown male was dancing to a music that only he could hear, and he was absolutely beautiful. He was several inches taller than she was, and his body was covered in powerful but lean muscles. His face was angular, the aquiline features giving him a striking resemblance to a bird of prey. His long raven black hair flowed to the small of his back, tied with a simple leather thong at the nape of his neck, and free flowing after that. Another feature that caught her gaze was his ears, and how they were slightly pointed instead of rounded like her own. His upper body was bare, allowing her a free look at his muscles as they rippled and moved under his skin, the sheen of sweat covering his body only emphasizing his physique as the light glinted off of his tanned hide.

    Astrid watched him move, a smile tugging lightly at her lips. Her first thought was confirmed as she watched him further. This man was not simply handsome, he was beautiful, perfection in a living body, with no visible flaws. Even the things that made him different from her were perfect in their own way. Her steps had been quiet because of the cushioning on the forest floor, but his steps were absolutely silent as he moved. She knew that he would be able to sneak up on anything that called this place home. To the woman watching, he was growing steadily more amazing as she watched him, building him up in her mind. Finally, he stilled, standing in the center of the clearing with his head tilted back, eyes closed as he breathed steadily and began to relax. Astrid finally screwed up her courage, and stepped out into the clearing, coughing softly to get the man's attention.

    "Hello, my name is Astrid, and I am very lost. Can you please help me?"

    _______________________________________________

    Hello, here is my revision of your writing sample. Places where I have expanded upon what you typed are in bold. Any spelling errors are corrected in italics.

    The best advice I can give you is to take your time with your posts, and try to be more descriptive. As you can see, my alterations to your post made it a lot more interesting, and gave more details about where she was, and who the man was. Often times, it is the little details that most people forget, and those are what makes roleplaying truly fun. Many times, I can take a small detail that someone else neglected, and use it to completely change the path of a roleplay, plunging it into a new direction just by using everything I can to work with what others give me. Unfortunately, when someone isn't very descriptive, it doesn't leave room for other people to reply in a way that will allow the RP to flow and continue on in a way that is fun for all involved.

    You do have some decent skill, all you need now is to refine and polish it, and work on the details.

    ___________________________________________________________________________________

    As you can see, I took the post, edited it and did whatever I could to make it better, then highlighted the changes, explaining what my particular highlights means. I also gave CONSTRUCTIVE criticism, and advice for the person to encourage them to get better.

    That is what I want to see in this thread, people helping others in a way that encourages more creative and fluid roleplaying, as well as better player relations within the community. Anyone I catch being abusive will have their posts deleted, and be reported to Iversia, or any admin staff that may happen to be online at the same time as I am.

    The thread is now open, and I wish everyone the best of luck in growing their skills with roleplaying!
     
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