Ok, My story Fire and Venture has been stopped entirely. Now, the admins tell me that there are lots of changes needed to be done, and I mean lots. I had things about Gods in there, that's been cleared up as we speak. However, I need help to help with those changes. Also, something as a bit of expansion to the plot. Now, I've a list of things needed to be explained more or changed: Firstly things start off as Pendzez(Demi-God) is killed by Reda and his soul was retained from passing into the Fronima. After centuries, Likian made the Zazkex and said that Pendzez(Demi-God) will come to the planet. Hion and Jufrow were first created, but Jufrow wondered away, while Hion remained to keep his word. The Sol Crest was given to Hion. Likian gave Hion instructions and twelve soul orbs to put the souls of himself and his descendants in them. Now, after a couple of years, Jufrow raised an army of Daemons to control Ramath, but Hion and his followers broke the daemon defense and defeated Jufrow, however, Jufrow cursed Hion's soul saying that he'll return when Hion's soul orb has been found. Jufrow's soul went to the Fronima, where he waited for that day to come. a Millennium later, Pendzez(Pendragon) comes in. With new companions, he sets out to find his ancestor's soul orbs for his Sol Crest. When he obtains the twelfth one(Hion), Jufrow returns, regaining energy and rebuilding his daemon army. Pendzez fights back and so does the world. Pendzez becomes face to face with Jufrow. They fight each other, but Jufrow shrouds Pendzez in thick darkness. Pendzez sees a hand reaching out to him. Pendzez gets out. Pendzez temporarily regains his Demi-God abilities. Defeats Jufrow and condemns him to the Nothing. This is the plot so far. So, something that runs along this plot, but making it plausible. Now the touch ups: A God's decision being the foundational work of the plot. Something to be explain to become plausible. Jufrow, how did he get a daemon army at his disposal? Jufrow's Daemon Army in the History Compendium. Something to explain about. How does Hion break the Daemon defense and what happens afterwards. Jufrow's fall and Hion's Victory in the History Compendium. Soul Orbs. Something to be explained to become plausible. Some touch ups on Likian, Hezekiah, and Pendzez. Likian in particular. Something explained to be plausible. Likian retaining his brother's soul from passing into the Fronima. Explaind more deeply to be plausible. The Sol Crest touched up. Explained more to be plausible What happens while finding the soul orbs of Pendzez's ancestors? Daemon Attcks. Explaining more deeply. Further explaining of what happens in the fight against Jufrow. With what and how? Pendzez Zazkex's near-death in the darkness touch up. The shining hand scene touch up. Who's hand is it? Pendzez temporarily regaining his Demi-God abilities. Something explained deeply to be plausible. Pendzez's power rehibernates within him again. Further explaining What would happen after the fight is over? How would the story end? Now, anyone who is willing to come in and lend a hand are absolutely welcome. Also, you can offer your ideas to help expand the plot abit. These guidelines are crucial however. *They allow fairness on the boards *They put no one person above the other *They create consistency and flexibility *They are accommodating enough for all walks life, religion, ethical and political views and opinions. *They appeal to most age groups. We have had a member of staff in her mid to late 30s, married, playing here. Also, if you wish to make a sub-story that hinges off a certain part of the plot are welcome, but I must have acknowledgement of it first.