At this particular moment in time. her mind deciced to deal with the now... for if it came to the worst, these moments could be their last... Even in only the past few weeks she had never had so much happiness as she felt now. It was like every moment was a clarification on her mind, healing her old wounds. Making her forget the wrongs that she had done, and the horrible things that had been done to her... She only had one other thing that was troubling her. Something that she had begun to carry after the first beautiful night... Not even he could stop her worrying about that. But how could she tell him...? It was this turmoil that stopped her from crying in joy too... for she needed to know what to do. And she feared this more than Revol.
"Is something wrong?" he asked, noting that she didn't feel okay. "Whatever it is, I'll be here for you, okay?" He said, embracing her and trying to comfort her, already knowing what was wrong.
She swallowed... looked up at his dark eyes. <span style='color:red'>i-i'm...</span> she uttered, dread in her eyes on his reaction to come. Surely after only being together a small while he wouldn't want this... not now at least. How could she tell him. How?! <span style='color:red'>preg...</span> Taking a breath she tried to reassure herself. They loved each other... it would be fine, it would be. her mind echoed. <span style='color:red'>...nant</span> every muscle watched him as she waited for him to say something.
Shiden just smiled, holding her tighter. "It's okay, I knew." He said, still holding her. "I realized you would be after the first time, the chances of you not being pregnant were small, so I accepted it then. I just decided to let you tell me when you thought it was right." He said, smilng at her while his hand stroked her neck. "I'm not mad at you, and I don't love you any less."
<span style='color:red'>And you want to keep it?</span> her voice said small, Smiling at the fact he had accepted it with the good nature she loved so much. <span style='color:red'> Either way i'll need to go to the doctors soon, to get checked out...or to get it aborted...</span> The doctors, one thing she had never been to in her life, surprising sice the injurys she had recieved over the years, luckily she could hide them with her shape-shifting. Actully she had no idea what the doctors did when one got pregnant, just that you had to go there, get a pre-natal examination or something like that. Shiden would know...hopefully.
"I believe that is up to you." Shiden said, rubbing her back and sitting on the couch, pulling her down with him. "It is in your body, not mine." He said, smiling and resting his head on hers.
<span style='color:red'>i know, but it will affect both of us... and to be honest, i'm a little scared of it...</span> She sighed looking down at her stomach. It was hard to belive that in there was an entity that was alive. A living thing. But if Revol found out... then surely he'd realise how it would affect Shidens' loyalty. If the worst cam she would have to get rid of the little angel....
"You don't have to be scared, I'm here with you, and nothing will happen to you, I swear." He said, trying to calm her fears. He was showing a calm exterior on the outside, but he was panicing on the inside. If revol finds out about this, we are so screwed. He thought, trying to push it to the back of his mind. He had to be calm and strong, for her.
<span style='color:red'>maybe not me... </span> She whispered. Trying to accept Shidens words, but what if? <span style='color:red'>...but the child...if revol...</span> Tears trashed her eyes, for the first time the situation finally dawning on her fragile mind. Desperately she pressed herself into his warm body, her silver tears welling as she breathed. She had no clue on what to do... what to think...what would happen to it? All she wanted to do was forget it all, pretend she never had a kid...she could lie to revol...and to shiden for the time being . Just till this all blew over. Her paw clenched around his looking for more than verbal comfort.
Shiden cupped her chin and made her look up, wiping away her tears with his thumb. "Everything will work out, I promise." He said, holding her tighter, his hands stroking her back while a single tear made its way down his cheek, leaving a trail. "I have to be strong, I have to be strong." He whispered, closing his eyes tight as he hugged her, not knowing what else to do. He was starting to break, because, for once in his life, he didn't have an answer to the problem at hand.
<span style='color:red'>it will... </span> Her throat uttered softly, her voice raw from her held back tears. She sunk into him her eyes dulling with a pain unknown to her. Shiden was hurting too her subconcious reminded her as she nuzzled into his maw. Muttering an oath, a prayer for her child.
"It will, I will make it work out." Shiden said, opening his eyes and managing a half smile at her. He kissed her softly, trying to forget the pain that was happening, trying to forget what was going on, at least for the moment. He had to make her happy, make her forget the suffering they were going through.
<span style='color:red'>ok...</span> Nykjek sighed, Images flashing in her head of what might happen to it... The same thing repeated in her head. It'll be ok...it'll be ok. She just wanted to cry. To scream at everything around her, even Shiden. She felt like killing Revol...so their child would live... But it would come back on her tenfold. Staying quiet she dug er claws into her palm looking for a release...anything at all to stop her from showing weakness.
"Let it out, holding it in won't do you any good." He whispered to her, stroking her. He gently released his hold on her, letting her release everything she was holding in, all of her anger, sadness, and worries.
<span style='color:red'>i can't ... because if i do i'll hurt someone... and-and...</span> That was it for her...as soon as she began excuses her throat clogged up and the tears began to rack her soul. Her heavy breaths as she clung to Shiden as though her life depended on it... <span style='color:red'>I dont know what to do... </span> Her tear soaked voice said, her fur staining silver with her tears. All she could do was sit and wait, wait and sit...do nothing like before...like all the other times she had trouble...
"Let it out, just let it out." Shiden whispered, stroking her back and giving her a short kiss on the forehead. "I'm here for you, you don't have to worry, shhh, shhh." He said, rubbing her back and letting her cry into his chest, knowing that he was doing everything he could to help her.
She did, she let every last ounce of her tears out, until her tears were bloody she cried. Painful sobs racked her chest. As she still clung to Shiden just wishing that he would hold her tight, make her forget until the time came. Her heart was dying with the pain of her childs life. That even if it did come to this world...it would be in danger... <span style='color:red'>What do we do......</span> She forced out of her mouth, the words cut down with her sandpaper throat. She looked up at him waiting for somehing to happen, for him to say something, anything. Even if it was the truth... She couldn't cry anymore not even if she wanted too.
"We hold onto hope." Shiden whispered to her, holding her as tigh as he could and wiping away the bloody tears that still clung to her face. "It is all we can do, for now." Shiden whispered again, giving her a quick kiss on her forehead and stroking her hair with his other hand.
<span style='color:red'>hope...for our child, if not for us...</span> she cuddled nto him, swallowing painfully as her her throt throbbed. Staring at his chest, she concentraited on the fur pattern, watching how it caught the light. how she coul hear his heart..no her heart resound in her head. As soon as her mind realised this. Everything began to spin, getting up from shidens' grasp she tried to walk to the bathroom. She reached the bathroom -just. As she soon saw the bath edge crunch into her skull, and a small blood pool form on the floor... <span style='color:red'>wha-</span> Bla cking out she fell into a deep unconcious state. Her shapeshifting abilities stopped showing the scars marring everywhere on he skin, Gashes on her leathery wings and an almost unreconisable face...
Shiden ran into the bathroom, seeing her in her true form. "My god." He said, picking her up and setting her back in his bed, getting some bandages and hot water. "Why did she hide herself?" He said, diligently cleaning and bandaging each wound, and checking her head to make sure she was okay. "At least it isn't serious, just a flesh wound." He said, wrapping a bandage around it the staring at her, taking in how she really looked. To any other pendragon she would have been hard to look at, but shiden saw her in the same light as always. He didn't care what she looked like, he had fallen in love with all of her, and it would stay that way. He had done all he could for now, and waited.
