dear dad- even though you're far away right now I don't miss you, because it's not much different than when we lived in the same house. dear dad- when I try to think of all the good times we've shared i want to scream because there are so many more times you've hurt me. dear dad- sometimes I think you don't love me. but sometimes the feeling's mutual. dear dad- i cry every time grandma says bad things about you, because I know they're all true... dear dad- i forgive you for forgetting my b-day. i never celebrate it anyway. dear dad- once, i wished i was dying, because maybe then you would be there for me. dear dad- sometimes i hate you. dear dad- i wish you were happier, because i know you're not. dear dad- i don't like it when you make promises i know you won't keep. because i get my hopes up every time. dear dad- i really want things to be different. because feeling like i have to earn your love isn't right.
gorgeous and painful. i'm sorry you feel that way, Alkia. reminds me of the letters never sent in the book 'Hard Love'.
