This was something my best mate sent me thought you guys would like it. EXCERPTS FROM A CAT'S DIARY DAY 752 - My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture...Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant. DAY 761 - Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded, must try this at the top of the stairs. DAY 763 - In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors,I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair...must try this On their bed. DAY 765 - Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body in attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was... Not working according to plan. DAY 768 - I am finally aware of how sadistic they are. For no good reason I was chosen for the water torture. This time however it included a burning foamy chemical called "shampoo." What sick minds could invent such a liquid. My only consolation is the piece of thumb still LODGED between my teeth. DAY 771 - There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event, however, I could hear the noise and smell the foul odor of the glass tubes they call "beer." More importantly I overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage. DAY 774 - I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird on the other hand has got to be an informant, and he speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my activities. Due to his current placement in the metal room his safety is assured. But I can wait, it is only a matter of time...
lol you forgot the dogs diary, but i love the cats part, cause thats how my grandmothers cat would think.
Elmindrada's (One of my cats) diarys would read like this (In reverse order!) Day 2188: The Alpha of the monkeys gave the matriarch a grouping of precious metal and stones that appeased her. They sahll live another day. Day 2185: I once again attempted to resist the allure of the dry food, but lately the small monkey has placed aphrodesiacs in the mixtures they call "treats". I must find a way to either destroy or build up a stockpile of these. Damn him! I must kill him soon, or I will not bring myself to do it in the end. Day 2182: The eldest monkey has found a way to slate my fury, it must of been him for no other monkey besides the matriarch would be able to find a way to cultivate tasty plants that my sister and I were allowed to eat. Day 2179:Attempted to get the males to attack me so that the matrearch would kick them out already. They only get in the way of my plans to dominate the world in unison with all other females suitable of ruling. Unfortunately, even thrwing up not ten feet away from them mockingly agitates them. In fact they felt sorry for me, must work on a new plan Day 2176: The matriarch was almost ready to attack the males yesterday, I was most pleased to find my plans were starting to slip nicely in place...
I work at a doggy day care and therevis one dog that I would love to read the diary for. I think hes schizophrenic because he radomly starts barking and playing with dogs that are not there...reading his diary would be really interesting
My other cats diary would read like this (reverse order!) ... Day 2190: I attempted to eat my sister this morning, she just looked at me funny and went off about how mom wouldn't like it if she knew what I was doing. I proceded to fuzz daddy and took a nap. Day 2187:I really liked what the small monkey did with the cat food recently, ti bad I had to slice him for rubbing my belly later. Daddy didn't scold me for trying to ruin his already nice and tuned guitar strings by laying on them, he just pet me like always. I wish he would stay home more to pet me more. Day 2184: Mom was really happy today, I just soaked up sun and ate and took naps, all is well except my sister is babbling on about escape or death for the male monkeys and some world conquring plot. I just said meow and got pet while Min was cussing out the little onkey in cattish. Day 2181: Daddy was ready to just sit around and pet me yesterday, to bad he has to go to the vet, what other place could make him so angry every day?...
